A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
