All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize