If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
