but the lizard people decide everything anyway
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize