Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
