Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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