No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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