i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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