There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
