I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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