he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
