Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i dont even know how to be here
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Randomize
