but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
