I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
