Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I need a beard to bite.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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