You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
