Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
