i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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