Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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