Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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