I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
