he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she peed on how many people?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
