So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
