I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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