If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
