You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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