I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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