you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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