I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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