weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
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Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
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Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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