god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'd cum for enchiladas.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
