why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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