I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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