I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
