man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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