I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
