I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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