Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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