Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
