angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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