You're completely useless in the revolution.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
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I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
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Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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