I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
