I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
