I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
