We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
