i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
