My brain says no but my pants say off.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Houston, we have a blender
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
