Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
worst night to have a conscience
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
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it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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