I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
