i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
a search helicopter?!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
