He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
