zippers are such a cool invention
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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