I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she peed on how many people?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
