I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize