One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
