Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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