i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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