Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
