I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
