i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
