I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize